Indeterminable Transformation

I would not know if it had happened yet, since the same mind that would

determine if any significant change had occurred would be the identical one

that is inclined to see things either in my favor or in condemnation depending

on the mood and circumstance. I am acutely aware that in whatever situation

faces me, at the moment, I am thoroughly predisposed to interpret, through

various mental mechanisms, which are colored by previous experiences and of

which I am influenced by. Furthermore, through unstated, unrevealed and

unconsidered emotions which incline me to judge and compare, I am incapable of

having a clear 'open and honest' thought. Certain biases are indelibly

imprinted in my mind, make-up and character, of which I have no control,

anymore than I can change the color of my eyes or the blueprint of my DNA. I am

helpless, yet, so intoxicated by my own self-worth and grandeur that I

misconstrue irrefutable facts placed before me. So, what do I do in order to

establish the truth with its ever shifting boundaries in time and space? I

must realize with full and absolute certainty, when approaching any scenario

from which I desire to find solutions, that the grandiose act of pretending to

want to know anything beyond what I presently am engaged in, (and, of which I

have already established a preexisting preferable outcome manipulates my

inference) is in fact, no more than dramatic hypnotic unconscious play

carried out by me as an indeterminable unrecognizable ploy aligned and

motivated imperviously from myself so that I may be constantly entertained and

amused (whether in tears or laughter) That ineffable irrefutable demonstrable

conviction will not change.

I search for that which cannot be found

I ask for that which cannot be answered

I seek for that cannot be seen

I yearn for that which forever eludes me

How can a blind man see?

A deaf man hear,

A lame man walk,

A mute man speak,

A dumb man know,

A human being not desire an outcome of benefit?

To place him in a place of power, command and personal authority of 'supposed'

knowledge?

There are no questions to be answered.

There is no search to be sought.

All things are exactly and precisely perfected (happening) for reasons we can't

see.

IF at any moment I 'think' I know what I am doing and why, I must cease

immediately.

I, alone am the inconsistent ground from which inconsolable battles of belied

beliefs transpire.

Without question, I elicit and project every possible situation, relationship and event

which is continually magnifie